Burner's Dance"
By: Bart "Burner" Reed, Intoxicated Fighter Pilot , [RNPC]
M'Ressha Mikaht, Fighter Pilot, [RNPC]
Maxine Lucinda Tapert, Computer Specialist, [PC]

Stardate: 58207.08 1503

"Oh yeah," shouted Burner as the Orion dancing girl came out onto the stage. "Hey bartender," he shouted, "I'll have another."

The room was packed with all different kinds of species. Burner had heard of this bar on the last Ferengi Casino ship he was on. It sounded like a right fine place to party. There were several stages all with exotic performers on them. There was something here for everyone.

Burner took his drink and shoved his way up to the front of the stage. He found Orion slave girls fascinating. The Orion began her seductive dance and her spell of her undulating form held Burner's complete attention. So enthralled was he that he failed to notice his own arm hoisting his very own body right onto the stage with her. Burner began to dance along with her, failing to notice the jeers form the crowd that was gathered.

Burner also failed to notice a big Nausican, whose job it was to keep people like him from doing things like inviting themselves to dance with the girls. The Nausican climbed onto the stage and grabbed Burner by the back of the neck and tossed him from the stage to the cheers of the crowd.

Landing with a thud on the floor Burner paused almost long enough to let the room stop spinning before getting to his feet again, "Thanks for the ride," he shouted at the Nausican. Turning towards the dancer, who had started her dance again he shouted, "Later baby." Burner made his way to the bar to replace the drink that the Nausican had made him spill. The Ferengi's knew how to throw a good part he thought. "Bartender," he shouted, "Another, make it a double."

Blitzer had thought that locating Burner in this place would be like finding a Nrrr pod in a pleess stack. That was of course until he spotted Burner dancing with the Orion woman. He quickly pointed out his comrade as the Nauscian launched him from the stage. He turned to Max, "he flies much better in his fighter," said Blitzer assuringly.

"Let's 'ope 'e lands better in it too," Max commented.

Blitzer waded through the crowd toward the bar with Maxine in tow. The place was packed.

He sat quietly on an empty stool next to Burner and waited for him to notice.

"Hey, Bartender, where is my drink," demanded Burner, looking around. His blurred eyes falling upon Blitzer, "Woah, a big cat," he observed, "Hey bartender, bring a bowl of cream for this cat here too."

Blitzer shook his head, "Burner!" he said, giving him a little shove, "It's me!"

Maxine peered around the 'Big Cat' to smile and wave at Blitzer's friend. She was sticking VERY close to her escort out of a genuine fear of getting lost in the crowd.

After several days of parties Burner's alcohol soaked brain just refused to register Blitzer,

"Well, 'Itsme'," said Burner as he got to his feet, "That can't be your real name. You don't fool me. Anyway, I'm here to party," Burner tossed a few slips of latinum on the bar just as the bartender brought his drink. "You better get a drink and try to keep up with me. I feel that the dabo tables are going to be good to me tonight. Burner downed his drink, and stumbled away in search of a dabo table."

Blitzer rolled his eyes, "Do you want a drink?" he asked Maxine.

Maxine grinned up at him, rather amused by Burner's antics. "Only if we're not going after 'im. I don't think I can manage t' keep a drink intact and wade through that lot at the same time," she indicated the crowd. "'e's going t' take a bit of drying out, isn't 'e?"

"Yeah, I'm afraid so. At least until his money runs out... and the dabo tables should take care of that in short order," he said turning toward the bar. He gestured to the Bartender, "at least we found him."

"Here kitty kitty," shouted Burner over his shoulder, as he searched for a open dabo table."

Maxine blinked and looked over at the drunken pilot's shout. "Uhm... You're being paged...."

Blitzer looked back over his shoulder. Burner was quite a site.

The bartender approached and nodded, "I'll have an Irish cream," said Blitzer.

"We don't have that," muttered the bartender setting two glasses on the bar.

"Uhm, just an andorian ale then."

Blitzer looked at Maxine.

I'll have the same," she decided, the simpler the better.

The bartender poured the drinks and stood frowning at the Caitian with his hand out.

"Oh," said Blitzer, his ears and whiskers drooped in embarrassment as he laid his Maquis credit chip on the bar.

"No latnium?" croaked the bartender.

"Sorry," said Blitzer with a feigned toothy smile and a shrug.

The bartender scooped up the chip, "Minimum credit exchange is 50 slips."

"Uh, sure." said Blitzer.

The bartender scanned Blitzer's chip and handed it back to him. Then he laid down 40 slips of latnium. "...and a fee of 5 slips."

"Sheesh..." said Blitzer to Maxine as he took a sip of ale.

"It's all about the profit, y'know..." Maxine grinned up at him and took a sip of her own ale.

His eyes scanned the crowd, "let's see how he's doing," he said pocketing the latinum in a pocket inside his tunic. "There he is..."

Again with Max in tow, they waded through the crowd.

Burner had found a nice dabo table and managed to take the place closest to the Dabo girl. "Hiya Honey," he said with a drunken smile. Burner had been playing Dabo all week and had not done too bad. He reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a single bar of latinum, "Here ya go," he said placing his bet on the table. "Spin it baby."

The Dabo wheel fired up and everyone at the table watched as Burners Marker lit up. "Dabo," shouted Burner with so much enthusiasm that he almost fell over. "Hey, I need another drink," he called out.

Burner placed his bet again, and again he won, and one more time he shouted Dabo. Taking his drink from the waitress he took a big drink and then set it down. All eyes were on him now. "Aww man I feel lucky," he said and he empptied every slip of lantinum he had right onto the table including his winnings. "Triple over," he said his eyes desperately trying to focus on the curves of the Dabo girl. A hush fell around the table and the Dabo girl looked over at a fat Ferengi sitting nearby. He nodded. She spun the wheel.

Blitzer and Maxine managed to get about 10 feet from the table. It was crowded. Everyone was watching the human play.

The wheel spun, and spun, and finally landed on a marker, not Burners. Burner yelled "Dabo." So this the Andorian across the table from him.

"Sorry honey," said the Dabo girl taking all of his latinum away, "Better luck next time."

"Easy come easy go," he said and slipped away from the table pushing his way through the crowd. He ran into the big cat, who was not starting to look familiar. Suddenly Burner remembered the very large bar tab he had. He looked past the big cat at the bartender who was talking to the nasty Nausican. "Uh oh," he said. "I need to leave." He moved toward the main entrance.

"Wait," said Blitzer trying to catch up to him as he moved toward the exit, he looked and Max and ruefully shook his head as his red-headed companion kept up with him.

Burner ignored him and moved as fast as his drunk legs would carry him. Just as he got to the exit he found it blocked by the Fat Ferengi and two Nausicans. The Ferengi clutched a small hand help device in his hand. "Stop right there Humon," said The Ferengi, "You are forgetting about your bar bill," he said looking at the device, "A rather impressive one I might add."

"Thank you," replied Burner.

The Ferengi checked his computer, "Let's see, 20 bars of gold pressed latinum at the bar, plus another 30 for the private dance you had earlier today,"

"Private dance, "roared Burner, "Your goon threw me off the stage."

"Oh yes," smiled the Ferengi, "Add a 1 bar fine for improper actions with casino staff." He paused, "And a 2 strip fine for Dabo rules violation," he said.

"Violation, what violation," said Burner, "I am the one being violated."

"You yelled Dabo when you lost. That is against the rules," he said pointing at a sign on the wall.

"Rules," Burner was beside himself, shaking with rage, "I can't even read those rules."

"For a fee I will be happy to translate for you," offered the Ferengi. "Now, 51 bars and 2 strips of latinum please," he said.

Burner patted his empty pockets, "Sorry fresh out," said Burner.

The two Nausican's stepped forward, "That is too bad," said the Ferengi." He snapped his fingers and the Nausican's grabbed for Burner.

By the time Blitzer and Maxine arrived, The Nausican had Burner on his knees in a what appeared to be a rather painful armbar.

"What's going on?" asked Blitzer.

The Ferengi looked away from Burner and surveyed the Catian, "This man tried to run out on his tab," he said, "We have to make an example of him."

Maxine stayed next to Blitzer out of the way. But she wasn't without her own opinion. "But what if 'e pays?" she asked.

"He can't, he already admitted that he has no latinum," said the Ferengi gesturing to the Nausicans to get on with it.

The a big Nausican strategically planted his foot into Burner's stomach causing a rush of air to escape his victim's lungs.

"Wait!" shouted Blitzer as Burner slumped to the ground. "How much does he owe?"

The Ferengi smiled at the Caitian, "He owes me 51 bars and 2 strips of Latinum."

"Whew.." said Blitzer with a whistle.

Blitzer pulled out his credit chip and looked at the small display. He scratched his head as he tried to figure out how much it was in exchange. "forty two... times..."

Maxine looked over his shoulder, did some quick math in her head and told him quietly, "You're ten bars short."

"You're short," said the Ferengi in a patronizing tone. He looked at Max and then a smile spread across his fat little face, "I tell you what," he said to Blitzer, "If you give me your feeemale tonight to dance on the stage, I will forgive the 10 bars that your friend is short."

"WHAT???? Me dance??" Maxine squeaked and took a step closer to Blitzer. "Uhhh..."

Blitzer's eyes looked up at the stage where several orion women were dancing. His eyes widened as he swallowed hard, he looked back at Max.

Maxine blinked and looked up at him. "Oh HELL no," she snorted and fwapped him lightly on the stomach with the back of her hand for even *thinking* it, and then patted herself down before pulling out her own credit chip. "You can take the 10 out of here," she told the Ferengi.

"Great," said the Ferengi, "Except for one thing. I want gold pressed latinum, not Maquis Credits. You will have to get these exchanged at the bar," said the Ferengi looking a little disappointed, "All fees and service charges still apply of course." He looked again at Max, "You should have danced," he said, "A feemale like you would have earned many tips."

Blitzer put his arm around Maxine protectively, "We'll be right back," said Blitzer.

They walked over to the exchange booth and presented their credit chips. The Blitzer paid the exchange fees with his 40 slips. "Don't worry, Burner will pay you back," he said.

"I'm not worried about that," Max assured him. "But there was no way I was going to.. I mean.. I don't even.. and with all those guys..." Her voice just sort of trails off.

"I'm not worried about that," Max assured him. "But there was no way I was going to.. I mean.. I don't even.. and with all those guys..." Her voice just sort of trails off. Blitzer leaned near her and confided, "you'd have stolen the show! you have a cute butt and Krystal agrees you have pert.." Maxine covered his mouth with her hand, stopping the rest of his sentence. "Bah!" she snorted softly. "Krystal thinks *she* has pert beasts," she informed him. "And you shouldn't be looking at my butt," she added with a grin. "And besides, I don't wan't 'alf the galaxy googling my breasts." "Well," said Blitzer imitating the Orion girl, "I'd dance for 10 bars." "They wouldn't pay you ten bars Kitty, because you don't have pert breast," she told him, and then laughingly added, "But you do have a cute butt." "And I thought it was my toes..." he said with smirk.

"Those too," she nodded. "Among other things..." she added with pink tinged cheeks.

With that, they went back to the fat Ferengi. "Here," said Blitzer.

The Ferengi took the latinum and handed it off to a Nausican, who dropped Burner in a heap on the floor. "Take him and get out."

"Hey.. no need t' be so rude..." Max told the Ferengi and looked down at Burner. "I hope 'e's okay," she turned her attention to the Cait beside her.

The Ferengi sneered at Blitzer, "You need to teach your feemale some manners. Get out of my casino."

Blitzer helped Burner to his feet and they walked out to the space docks.

Somewhere in the deep recesses of Burner's brain, the place where common sense would tell him his mother would be very disappointed in his behavior, existed a thought that finally penetrated his ethanol soak brain. It's Blitzer, he remembered. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. "Thanks Blitz," he stammered and then darkness fell around him and he lost consciousness and collapsed to the floor.